Today I started Zen meditation. Again.
It was good for me. I know it was. However, much like any other kind of exercise, it's a real bitch to get started. It's even harder to stay with it. I'd love to be one of those people that can say "Oh, God, it (whatever IT is) changed my life completely. I just don't feel right if I don't do it (what the fuck is IT?) everyday."
Alas, I am not. I can go months without exercise, zazen included. After all, zazen is exercise. Mental, physical, emotional exercise. People don't think it is cuz they just sit there. But I've had some of the best times and worst times of my life right there on the cushion.
Why is this? Why can I go so long without the one thing that truly makes people sane? How do I stay away from this practice that makes me the human I need to be?
Because it's hard. That's fuckin why.
But today saw my triumphant return. And tomorrow will see the thrilling sequel. Because unlike running, or biking or water aerobics, I feel awful when I don't sit. Mentally and physically and emotionally. The effort exerted is more important than the result. Making it to the shrine room and sitting my ass down, even if it's only ten minutes, produces a better day. Better days produce happier people and happier people will eventually stop voting for dirty little gangsters like George W. Bush.
So see if you've got the time anywhere in your day. You don't have to sit down in front of a statue of Buddha or Krishna or Loki. You don't need incense and candles. All you need is you, and maybe five minutes where the phone won't ring, or the baby won't cry or your husband won't have to have lethal amounts of alcohol pumped from his stomach.
Don't close your eyes. Don't shut out the world. Just breathe. Count your breaths if you're having trouble doing nothing. Count to ten then start over. Don't imagine the peaceful ocean or a warm playful breeze. Don't visualize a beautiful campfire. Just sit there. You'll be shocked at how much better you'll feel. Especially if you can do it more than two days in a row.
Trust me. I'm not some blissed out guy dispensing advice from on high. I'm the guy next to you on the bus struggling to do this myself.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
Are there such persons as natural meditators? What I mean is, if I find myself snapping back to my normal thought activity and realizing that I was just sitting motionless and not thinking, just really breathing while my eyes glaze over because I'm not really processing what I see, was I meditating? Does it happen to people without them trying to do it? If so, does it only have value when you try to make it happen?
Are there such persons as natural meditators? What I mean is, if I find myself snapping back to my normal thought activity and realizing that I was just sitting motionless and not thinking, just really breathing while my eyes glaze over because I'm not really processing what I see, was I meditating? Does it happen to people without them trying to do it? If so, does it only have value when you try to make it happen?
Sorry for the double post, my browser stalled.
Sorry for the triple post, et al.. ad infinitum.
I now apologize for leading you to believe that so many people are commenting on your blog. My bad.
Millsey,
There are, of course, natural meditators. There are natural everythings, and since the mental state discovered by meditation is inherent to being human, nothing is more natural.
Some of us have a harder time than others. Some folks find meditation quite easy and wonder what all the fuss is about. You've mentioned several times to me that you feel an affinity for the meditative state; that you seem to spend time there without trying for it. That's awesome. And it DOES happen to people without them trying. However, it's not very valuable unless you notice the situation. If your eyes are glazed over because you're just sitting motionless, you shouldn't stop processing what you see, you should just stop taking sides. The goal isn't to stop thinking, or to think differently, it's just to notice without real attatchment.
The scenario you described isn't really meditation. That doesn't mean it's without value, though. I think you are one of the natural meditators, and, with a little effort, you could see some real benefit. Meditation is exercise. It's easier for some than others but it's still something you do, not something that just happens. Aspects of it occur randomly, but the real process requires some exertion on your part.
Try it under structured conditions, if you like. Don't stop noticing the outside world and DEFINITELY don't try to stop thinking. Just watch. Try not to get too caught up in the flow of thoughts. Thoughts aren't the enemy; the enemy is identifying with them. Me\him, this\that, subject\object; all these are what sweep us away.
Or, if you don't feel like trying something structured, just try to pay attention the next time something like this happens.
Would masterbation be considered medetation? I seem to at points believe I am some where else. And at times I feel enlightened, or released, or tired. Anyway they both sound the same... or atleast both start with "M". Why is my enter key sticky???!
Foo, how can you misspell both "masturbation" and "meditation" in the same sentence?
And you'd be surprised how closely related they are.
Actually, I think it's important to note that I don't notice what I am doing otherwise when this happens but it's probably responsible stuff. I don't think I'm a natural meditator, I'm just really bored.
Post a Comment