The Hardest of the Hardcore

Well, it seems I finally have a teacher. Before you get too excited for me, you should know that this is a long distance relationship. Of course, I swore I would never do that again, but I don't have much of a choice. The only person I want to study Zen with lives near LA, way out in the fabled lands of California. Now, I'm sure as fractured fuck not moving to LA, and I see no reason why he should leave his wife and his job to come to Kentucky. So it looks like I'll be making do with e-mails and phone calls. Hopefully, at least once a year, I'll be able to travel out there to do a retreat or a program he's directing.

This gentleman's name is Brad Warner. If anyone out there has read all the posts on this site, they'll recognize the name. Brad is an American who lived in Japan for over 10 years, during which time he was ordained as a Zen priest. True to his punk roots, he resisted assuming the mantle of any kind of authority figure for a long time. Eventually, at the persistent urgings of his teacher, Gudo Nishijima, he reluctantly accepted. He eventually wrote a book called Hardcore Zen that changed a lot of people's lives, mine included. Hardcore Zen shattered my Buddhist world. I had read quite a bit about Zen, but was a dedicated Tibetan practitioner. Tibetan Buddhism, also called Vajrayana, seemed to be my home. Looking back, I have no fucking idea why. Vajrayana is mystical, superstitious, otherworldly, extraneous, and full of trappings that clutter the path to Truth. I had always viewed it as gentle and accepting, which it is, and Zen as the Marine Corps of Buddhism, which it is. That always frightened me, so I stuck with the convoluted directions of Vajrayana.

Brad's book shook me. It shook me so hard, in fact, it knocked the Tibetan teachings right outta me. Hardcore Zen pointed to the Truth. It pointed with one brutal finger, screaming all the while for me to open my goddam eyes. It made me realize that the Truth does not give a fuck about me, nor can it be confined by a belief. Tibetan Buddhism is riddled with beliefs; the belief in reincarnation, in gods and goddesses, unseen beings and other planes of existence. Hardcore Zen said "Fuck Belief". The minute you start forming beliefs, your search for Truth is over.

I was blown away. This book is filled with irreverence. It is not holy, nor is it special, or relative, or mitigated by any trace of bullshit. Just like the Truth. Brad may be a Zen priest, but that doesn't mean he sits around wallowing in bliss or trotting out ridiculous riddles to answer honest questions. He speaks just like the punk he is. He lays out the teachings, he explains how they lead to the Truth, and if you don't believe it, or don't think it works, then suck it.

The Truth is free. It's there for everyone. It has nothing to do with chanting or bowing or beautiful costumes or reincarnation or prayer or especially beliefs. When I realized this, Vajrayana Buddhism coughed politely, stood up, smoothed the wrinkles out of its silly dress, and left the room.

The room is empty now. It has no possessions or designs. The only thing it has is potential. With a true teacher, like Brad Warner, it's the potential that needs to be explored, not the furnishings.