FILTHY IDOLATORS!

When people from the West get over the inevitable shock that Buddhists don't belive in god, much less God, they eventually have a pressing question to ask. It's pressing because many of them have been raised in houses with a ridiculous book in it that commands folks not to create any graven images. Also, not to worship images of gold or silver. Also, not to have any other gods. The Lord admits right off the bat to Moses that he is, in fact, a jealous god. "Mo," he says, "I'm bout jealous."

Muslims find Buddhists quite shocking as well. Infinitely more shocking than Christians and Jews, whom they refer to as "People of the Book", meaning fellow Abrahamic followers. Muslims have a stance on graven images that is, like so much else in their religion, militant. Were they to actually keep to the literal Koran, they'd have to kill me, convert me, or impose a huge, non-Muslim tax on me.

As it is, everyone who isn't a Buddhist wants to know the same thing; why we have those silly shrines where we bow to Buddha and worship all our other pagan gods. This is a legitimate question, and one I like to answer as it dispels several misconceptions at once.

Misconception 1: We bow to images of Buddha because we worship him.

This is not true. No Buddhist anywhere in the world, of any sect or discipline, worships the Buddha. The Buddha taught that the state of being awake and free and happy is inherent to being human. It is not something outside of ourselves that we must seek, nor can it be conferred by a higher being. This state of true wakefulness is where the Buddha came by his title, as Buddha simply means "awakened one."

Buddhism is not a religion. It does not have a savior, only teachers. Siddhartha Gautama, the historical Buddha, was not the first, nor will he be the last. His teachings point to a truth that is visible to anyone should they care to look. One needs neither piety nor salvation to discover that one is already happy and at peace. The so-called state of "Enlightenment" is as natural as breathing, it is not holy, and it is already possessed by everyone.

Why then, do we bow to images of Buddha on our shrines? Because we are bowing to ourselves. We are the Buddha. We bow to our own awakened nature to remind ourselves of what we're doing. We bow in respect to ourselves, because it's only by our own actions that we can be saved. No one can do this for us. The shrine is a mirror that reflects our perfection. Before we sit down to meditate, we bow in front of this mirror to catch a glimpse of the Truth.

We also bow out of respect for the Buddha. He went before us and created a path that makes it easier for the rest of us to follow. Because of him, we have an established method of interacting with internal peace that has been empirically tested over the past 2500 years. He showed us that compassion and wisdom are the two wings to freedom. He developed a highly specified means to cultivate these, based on his own experiences. Therefore, because of our gratitude and respect for him as our teacher, we bow in thanks.

Misconception 2: The Buddha was a god, which is why we revere him.

Again, sorry. Not a chance. The Buddha was not a god. He didn't die for our sins so he could keep watch over us from beyond the stars. He was just a guy. He was dissatisfied with our fleeting pleasures and enduring suffering. He believed it was possible to be totally free and happy and content in this life. When he discovered that this was indeed true, he took it upon himself to teach it to others. He outright told his followers that he was just a man like them. He refused to be worshiped or placed on a level above others. He insisted that each and every one of us can discover the Truth in the exact same manner in which he did. When he was dying, his disciples were anxious because he had not named a successor. They wanted desperately to be able to hold on to something even after his death. In his final lesson, the Buddha refused to give that to them. He did not empower a successor, he told them to work diligently on their own salvation. He told them that they were responsible for themselves, not him. Then he died.

The Buddha was our teacher. Our human, imperfect, mortal, 5th century BCE, no doubt totally smelly, homeless teacher.

Misconception 3: When we die, we will be reunited with Buddha.

Nope. The Buddha is dead. He's gone. We'll never see him again. What's more, we don't really know what happens when we die. We're a little more concerned with living. Happiness is already here. We don't need death or the ghost of the Buddha to get us there. He taught his followers that they shouldn't concern themselves overmuch with what happened after death. And he certainly never mentioned that we'd all be in a happy place with him, all of our loved ones, and our pet turtle Frank, who passed at the unlikely age of two under the water heater. What and who we love in this world are transitory, and we will not take it with us into whatever happens next.

Misconception 4: It's necessary to have a shrine to be a Buddhist.

Definitely not true. Many Buddhist, especially here in the West, completely eschew this practice. Conversely, many native Buddhists all over the Eastern Hemisphere have elaborate shrines in their houses where they pay lip service to images of the Buddha without ever understanding why. They don't meditate or study. Buddhist images are so ingrained in their society that they often mistakenly believe that making offerings on their altars will ensure salvation.

A shrine is not a requirement to practice Buddhism. Many of us have them because it helps focus our practice. We have a corner or an entire room dedicated to this one activity. The shrine is a constant focal point and reminder. We're not here to worry about our cell phone bill, or to mentally balance our checkbook. We're not sitting down to rest or relax or get away from the world. We sit down in front of the Buddha, just like his followers did 2500 years ago. We meditate under his tutelage, just like they did.

But this is not necessary. It's just a visual reminder of Truth, which is internal. You can meditate anywhere, study anywhere, learn anywhere. There is no spiritual difference between someone who sits in their gorgeous shrine room with it's Buddha images and candles and incense and calligraphy, and the guy who sits in the corner next to his bed under his Aerosmith poster.

How It's Going

Today I started Zen meditation. Again.

It was good for me. I know it was. However, much like any other kind of exercise, it's a real bitch to get started. It's even harder to stay with it. I'd love to be one of those people that can say "Oh, God, it (whatever IT is) changed my life completely. I just don't feel right if I don't do it (what the fuck is IT?) everyday."

Alas, I am not. I can go months without exercise, zazen included. After all, zazen is exercise. Mental, physical, emotional exercise. People don't think it is cuz they just sit there. But I've had some of the best times and worst times of my life right there on the cushion.

Why is this? Why can I go so long without the one thing that truly makes people sane? How do I stay away from this practice that makes me the human I need to be?

Because it's hard. That's fuckin why.

But today saw my triumphant return. And tomorrow will see the thrilling sequel. Because unlike running, or biking or water aerobics, I feel awful when I don't sit. Mentally and physically and emotionally. The effort exerted is more important than the result. Making it to the shrine room and sitting my ass down, even if it's only ten minutes, produces a better day. Better days produce happier people and happier people will eventually stop voting for dirty little gangsters like George W. Bush.

So see if you've got the time anywhere in your day. You don't have to sit down in front of a statue of Buddha or Krishna or Loki. You don't need incense and candles. All you need is you, and maybe five minutes where the phone won't ring, or the baby won't cry or your husband won't have to have lethal amounts of alcohol pumped from his stomach.

Don't close your eyes. Don't shut out the world. Just breathe. Count your breaths if you're having trouble doing nothing. Count to ten then start over. Don't imagine the peaceful ocean or a warm playful breeze. Don't visualize a beautiful campfire. Just sit there. You'll be shocked at how much better you'll feel. Especially if you can do it more than two days in a row.

Trust me. I'm not some blissed out guy dispensing advice from on high. I'm the guy next to you on the bus struggling to do this myself.

Quotes

I don't feel very original today. Here are some folks who say it better than I do anyway:


"Like a good scientist, a Buddhist is ready to throw away any belief he or she holds the second it becomes clear that that belief conflicts with reality."

-Brad Warner


"Nothing is sacred. Doubt - in everything - is absolutely essential. Everything, no matter how great, how fundamental, how beautiful, or important it is, must be questioned."

-Brad Warner


"If faith could be looked upon as a flashing sword cutting through all confusion and doubts, belief could be considered that same sword in its scabbard."

-Albert Low


"If you stick to an idea or an image of God and if you do not touch the reality of God, one day you will be plunged into doubt."

-Thich Nhat Hanh


"The way lies in not doing, yet nothing is left undone."

-Lao Tzu

The Hardest of the Hardcore

Well, it seems I finally have a teacher. Before you get too excited for me, you should know that this is a long distance relationship. Of course, I swore I would never do that again, but I don't have much of a choice. The only person I want to study Zen with lives near LA, way out in the fabled lands of California. Now, I'm sure as fractured fuck not moving to LA, and I see no reason why he should leave his wife and his job to come to Kentucky. So it looks like I'll be making do with e-mails and phone calls. Hopefully, at least once a year, I'll be able to travel out there to do a retreat or a program he's directing.

This gentleman's name is Brad Warner. If anyone out there has read all the posts on this site, they'll recognize the name. Brad is an American who lived in Japan for over 10 years, during which time he was ordained as a Zen priest. True to his punk roots, he resisted assuming the mantle of any kind of authority figure for a long time. Eventually, at the persistent urgings of his teacher, Gudo Nishijima, he reluctantly accepted. He eventually wrote a book called Hardcore Zen that changed a lot of people's lives, mine included. Hardcore Zen shattered my Buddhist world. I had read quite a bit about Zen, but was a dedicated Tibetan practitioner. Tibetan Buddhism, also called Vajrayana, seemed to be my home. Looking back, I have no fucking idea why. Vajrayana is mystical, superstitious, otherworldly, extraneous, and full of trappings that clutter the path to Truth. I had always viewed it as gentle and accepting, which it is, and Zen as the Marine Corps of Buddhism, which it is. That always frightened me, so I stuck with the convoluted directions of Vajrayana.

Brad's book shook me. It shook me so hard, in fact, it knocked the Tibetan teachings right outta me. Hardcore Zen pointed to the Truth. It pointed with one brutal finger, screaming all the while for me to open my goddam eyes. It made me realize that the Truth does not give a fuck about me, nor can it be confined by a belief. Tibetan Buddhism is riddled with beliefs; the belief in reincarnation, in gods and goddesses, unseen beings and other planes of existence. Hardcore Zen said "Fuck Belief". The minute you start forming beliefs, your search for Truth is over.

I was blown away. This book is filled with irreverence. It is not holy, nor is it special, or relative, or mitigated by any trace of bullshit. Just like the Truth. Brad may be a Zen priest, but that doesn't mean he sits around wallowing in bliss or trotting out ridiculous riddles to answer honest questions. He speaks just like the punk he is. He lays out the teachings, he explains how they lead to the Truth, and if you don't believe it, or don't think it works, then suck it.

The Truth is free. It's there for everyone. It has nothing to do with chanting or bowing or beautiful costumes or reincarnation or prayer or especially beliefs. When I realized this, Vajrayana Buddhism coughed politely, stood up, smoothed the wrinkles out of its silly dress, and left the room.

The room is empty now. It has no possessions or designs. The only thing it has is potential. With a true teacher, like Brad Warner, it's the potential that needs to be explored, not the furnishings.

All Is One

I work in a restaurant. Last night as I stood morosely at my bar, contemplating walking out for the fifth time in an hour, a lady wandered past. She was behaving strangely, kinda flapping her hands and weaving. Was she drunk? I wondered. Was I?

Then she turned around. Her face was red and her hands weren't flapping, they were clasping and unclasping around her throat. Doesn't matter whether you're in Nepal or West Virginia, hands around the throat always means the same thing; I'm choking.

I was instantly terrified. My friend Daniel was sitting at the bar with his back to the woman, counting his money. "Daniel, this woman's choking," I said, as I moved towards her.

I got to her slightly ahead of him and put my hand on her shoulder. "Are you choking?" I asked. She nodded violently, making no noise, which is a dead giveaway. "Can you breathe at all?" A violent shake of her head, her watering eyes horrified.

Still scared witless, I got behind her, wrapped my arms around her, and gave one huge Heimlich hug. She instantly began sputtering and coughing. I asked if she was OK and she coughed out a yes. In a few seconds we were surrounded by her server and the manager and her own daughter. She pleaded with us not to make a big deal of it, to just let her sit back down. She thanked me pretty profusely and went back to her table.

Once it was over, my hands started shaking and adrenaline made me twitchy. I'm a trained EMT and that was my first real do-or-she-dies situation. I don't even have a certificate yet. My terror came primarily from the threat of responsibility. I was the only person in sight specifically trained to stop that woman from choking. Yet I still wanted desperately for someone else to take control.

Which, of course, someone would've if I'd hesitated. Because, let's face it; giving someone the Heimlich isn't really a big deal. Even if you're not trained to do it, I'm pretty sure you could. Someone else would've saved that lady if I hadn't. The only person it's a big deal to is her. She was the one choking.

Buddhism teaches that that woman is me. It doesn't point this out in some Golden Rule ploy, so I'll treat her the way I'd like to be treated. It points out that, essentially, she and I are the same creature. We desire happiness, we wish to avoid suffering. We need food and water and love and patience. More, everything in the universe that draws breath is connected. Not in some stupid fucking drum circle version of hippie spirituality, but physically and mentally connected. So what happens to others happens to you. This is unavoidable.

Consider: You wake up late for work. You forgot to do laundry the night before, so your clothes are dirty. No time for a shower, you put em on anyway. At work you're one step behind all morning. You can't quite make up for the lost time so it looks like you'll have to stay late. When lunch comes, you head out to a Japanese restaurant. You stew for the entire meal about having to work late and your mood keeps deteriorating. When the bill comes, you stiff the server. Maybe you forget, maybe you just want to share the pain. Nevertheless, your server has just worked for free. He goes through the rest of his shift thinking about the gaijin asshole that wouldn't tip him. He also realizes that if he doesn't make some more green, he's not going to have rent. When he gets home he calls his sister in Kyoto to see how she's doing. At some point, patience worn thin worrying about money, he snaps at her and hangs up the phone. Not knowing why he's angry, his sister wonders if perhaps it's something she's done. What if she's upset him somehow? In her preoccupied frustration, she shouts at her 4 year old son, who bursts into tears.

Now you've done it. Because of oversleeping, a shitty mood, and failure to tip, you've extended your misery all the way across the planet to people you've never met. Granted, this scenario is oversimplified, but your actions really do affect others. Every single step you take has impact in the way hundreds of people experience their day. No single creature is exempt from this web.

So that woman is me and I am her. Trained EMT or not, it's everyone's job every day to look after humanity because they ARE humanity. When you turn your back on the suffering of others, you're refusing to help yourself. Since that lady is me, I was the one choking. Since I helped, you helped. Because you did, I'm still breathing. So thank you.