No Debate

Now, I know calling Intelligent Design "fuckin stupid" in my last post wasn't very nice. It seems uneducated, immature, and reactionary on my part, doesn't it? Like maybe I don't even want to engage in intellectual debate with these people, I just want to ridicule them.

Well, I DO want to ridicule them, and the primary reason is because there isn't a debate. No matter what the Christians have convinced themselves of, Intelligent Design vs. Evolution is not the long-touted battle the world has been waiting for. I don't know if they've noticed, but scientists don't seem particularly concerned about their latest attempt to disguise belief as fact.

This is because scientists measure things. They observe events and reactions. They record data and exhaustively test it to determine it's worth. And, until something with harder evidence comes along, that theory becomes the best possible explanation we have to work with. This is all based on empiricism.

Intelligent Design is not a theory; it's religious hogwash. It is not a new branch of science, as we are being told; it's a perfunctory attempt to dress up Creationism in 21st century clothing. ID proponents cannot produce a single observable trait of their idea. More importantly, because ID can't generate testable data, nothing about it can ever be confirmed. Gravity is a theory because, thus far, it's the only explanation that corroborates the extensive investigation into it's nature. ID is a belief, because nothing about it can be measured, tested, or examined.

I'm fine with teaching Intelligent Design in schools as a theology class. It should be an elective that people can take if they're interested in its philosophy. However, to call ID "science" is a hideous lie. It is NOT an alternative to evolution any more than fantasizing about a big-ass cheeseburger is an alternative to eating. And why is evolution the only theory being challenged? Why can't we use faith to overturn inertia, or Pythagoras, or the first law of thermodynamics? Christians need to stop worrying about whether they can pull this new wool over our eyes, and examine the mistruths that have led them here in the first place.

Science is not the opposite of faith, but faith can never be explored scientifically. That's why it's called faith, not fact. Explore your faith and understand its nature. Don't try to turn it into something else when you stumble over your insecurity.

Cuz I'm a cowboy. On a steel horse I ride. 

Hold Your Horses

Damn, but it's been forever since I've posted here. And this particular post is going to be very short. I just wanted to let my die-hard readers know that I'm not neglecting them, I'm just busier than a fiddler's bitch. I started this blog to force myself to write every day, and to write about something I care deeply about. And, of course, I suppose there's the off chance that someone will read it if they happen to Google "Crazed semi-literate rants on Buddhism and politics by tattooed, half-educated freaks with severe profanity disorders". However, it was created mainly for me to hone my writing and ranting skills, as well as to have an outlet to discuss (with myself) the world at large.

Which explains posts every day for three days and then this protracted absence. But, I SWEAR I have an excuse. I'm studying to be an EMT, so I can quit my shitty job bartending and take a pretty extreme pay cut to join a profession than saves people's lives. This Saturday is the first really big test, one of two that count. Next Monday is the REALLY big one, the one that, when you fail they say "OK, you're not an EMT." The state average on that second test is 33%, so I've been studying like mad. Every day I look forlornly at my computer as I read my "Emergency Care" book. Then, when I take a break, I ignore this page and download porn.

So there you have it. I haven't had the time lately to rant, or to discuss my Zen practice, which is blossoming like winter flowers. I haven't had time for much, except work and study. Even my sex life seems to be on hiatus. That's fairly excusable, as my wife is taking these tests with me. I'm also finding myself more and more interested in culture, society, politics and the like. This blog was originally (and perhaps a bit drunkenly) intended to be an exploration of Zen, but, the more I do it, the more I realize that I'm very much interested in other stuff.

I will return soon, I promise. Probably Monday night after the last test. Also after I put about six beers in me, to lubricate all my rant-joints and crazy-veins. Unless something else catches my admittedly capricious fancy, the next topic will be Intelligent Design, which I will preface with one small statement: it's fuckin stupid.

Onward, Christian Soldiers

So the Vatican has released it's newest document, mandate, crazy rant, whatever you wanna call it. Not surprisingly, it's subject is the unequivocal banning of any and all homosexual hopefuls aiming at a spot in seminary. Not only that, it also bars entry to anyone supporting "gay culture". What the fuck is gay culture? The only marginals they will consider are people who had "transitory" gay feelings that were overcome at least 3 years ago.

"Well, father, I was kinda gay for a while, but nothing ever happened. Oh, no, that was years ago. I'm totally straight now."

The Church seems to have forgotten that NONE OF THESE GUYS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FUCKING ANYONE!! What does it matter who you WISH you could fuck if you were ALLOWED to fuck?

Un-shockingly, this promulgation has succeeded in angering not just homosexuals, but any and all intelligent life on this planet. So, just for the record, let me make sure I've got this straight...

...the Catholic Church, indubitably the most corrupt, vile, dissembling, back-stabbing, murderous, greedy, hateful organization man has ever created...
...which for years has been experiencing drop offs in parishioners and crippling shortages of priests and seminarians...
...as well as appearing more and more archaic and cut off from the modern world...
...this Church, this cut-throat assembly of God's innermost homeboys (but no homeGIRLS)...

...has succeeded in alienating hundreds upon hundreds of thousands of people in one fell swoop?

BRAVO! WELL DONE, YOU OLD CRUSTY WHITE GUYS!

Holy flopping testicles, if we just sit back, the Church will suffer the slow, grueling, painful death it deserves.

Now, I know what you're saying. The Church NEVER modernizes; the laws of God and Jesus are eternal, they don't change with the times. Let's forget, for a moment, all the councils the Church has called in the past 2000 years to vote in and out specific rules, regulations, and declarations, and assume that God's laws are timeless. Isn't every man, woman and child a sinner? Isn't each and every priest, bishop, and cardinal a sinner? Yes, they are. So if a priest is a sinner, and a secular homosexual out there just butt-plugging away at everything he likes is also a sinner, who's worse, in the Church's view? They guy who's actively homosexual, or the guy that WOULD be actively homosexual if he weren't a priest?

If the Church was really thinking instead of just experiencing knee-jerk reactions, they'd demand gay priests. They'd have nothing but gay priests. The more homosexuals you get into celibate positions in the church, the less homos you've got out there banging each other.

If you love the sinner but hate the sin, where's the harm in gay priests? I know, I know, the Holy See teaches if you sin in your heart, you've sinned with your body. Let's look past that rather puerile viewpoint and take a gander from the other side. They're worried about gay priests lusting after altar boys, or the husbands of parishioners, or Spongebob Squarepants. What about all the straight priests? Are you telling me they don't lust after women? Old women, young women, hot women, repulsive women, Angelina Jolie and Barbara Bush? Of course they do. They're men! Men love to fuck! Men love to think about fucking! Is the gay priest a worse sinner because he fantasizes about sex with men? Apparently so. But they're all out there, thinking, at least occasionally, about sex. Gay sex, straight sex, donkey sex and lonely old self sex.

So if everyone is thinking about sex (at least until they let women in, who are not quite as obsessed with what everyone's genitals look like), the Church might as well mount a massive drive to recruit as many openly, flamboyantly, swishily, straight-up Liberace gay fellas as they can. It'll get em off the streets, which are teeming with bad influences and buttholes. And for every homosexual they get into seminary, that's one more guy they can study right up close until they realize the inevitable: these people are just like them.

But, until then, congratulations, Catholic Fathers! You're driving em away in droves and that's what I like to see.